If this doesn’t make you laugh just go ahead and close your casket!!!

A preacher concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately-needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, ‘Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?’

Proudly handing the minister an envelope, Jack replied, ‘Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here’s the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.’

‘Fine job, Jack!’ The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. ‘You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.’

Turning to Paul, ‘And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the church last week?’

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, ‘I am a professional salesman.   I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here’s $280 I collected.’

The minister responded, ‘That’s absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you.’

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said,  ‘And Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?’ Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents. ‘What is this?’ the minister exclaimed. ‘Louie, there’s $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?’

Louie just nodded. ‘That’s impossible!’ both Jack and Paul said in unison. ‘We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could.’

‘Yes, this does seem unlikely,’ the minister agreed. ‘I think you’d better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.’

Louie shrugged. ‘I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don’t  kn-kn-knowf-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,’ he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. ‘For crying out loud, Louie,just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!’

‘A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,’ Louis  replied, ‘W-w-w-w-would  y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible F-f-for  t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks —o-o-o-or— wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to  y-y-you??’

Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are! Seriously though, God can and does still use people whatever their level of abilty and we are often surprised at the results.

Alpha courses have been a regular feature of our corps programme for some years. This autumn we will be joining with other Town Centre churches to continue this programme.

The next Alpha course will begin on Wednesday 29 September 2010 and an invitation to attend is extended to all readers who live within travelling distance of Chatham. The course lasts 12 weeks and is held on Wednesday evenings at the Emmaus Church Centre in Clover Street commencing at 7.30pm. The Away Day will be on Saturday 6 November (venue still to be decided) and the final session on Wednesday 8 December. You may register for the course right here.

REGISTER NOW

To learn more about the course before registering click here.

MEET GOD DAILY THROUGH PRAYER AND PRAISE

ENJOY A VARIETY OF BITE-SIZE BIBLE READINGS

BUILD A LASTING LIBRARY FOR FURTHER STUDY

The September – December edition of Words of Life is now available at £3.50 per copy. Click here to order on line or contact us.

‘Words of Life’ is written by Major Evelyn Merriam. Primarily educated in the USA she received her high school diploma in Kobe, Japan, a degree in education from Eastern Nazarene College, her officer’s commission from The Salvation Army’s training college in New York and a degree in writing from Manhattanville College. Evelyn and her husband have worked for The Salvation Army for more than 35 years, five of them in Japan. They now live in New York’s Hudson Valley.

Major Evelyn Merriam

This edition of Words of Life introduces questions. In Mark’s Gospel we find people bombarding Jesus with questions — and he asks a few of them and us as well. We listen in on Paul’s instructions to the Corinthians in his head-on response to some of their stated and implied questions. Guest writer Major Max Sturge asks, ‘How can a bunch of motley slaves be a blessing to the world?’ then guides us on an Exodus journey from slavery to freedom where we reflect on some of the questions suffering raises. As we join Jacob on his quest and then, during Advent, consider key players on the scene at Christ’s first coming, some of their questions may be ours.

Here are the first pictures we have received from Sunday’s wedding of Cat McCombe and Matt Williams in Cardiff.

Looks like it was a great day and the weather didn’t spoil things. Congratulations and best wishes to Cat & Matt.

In view of the comments received regarding last week’s Monday Spot it has been interesting to track the sources of the visits made to this web site during the last seven days.

Of course we monitor our traffic continuously and this week we have noticed a considerable increase in visits from the home regions of our guests last Sunday. Seems like many of them have been contacting home and saying ‘hey! look at this!’. Well, there’s nothing in the world to compare with Christian fellowship, and Salvation Army fellowship in particular. That which we shared last week goes far beyond our building, our homes, our town or even our country and we are delighted to have made so many new friends, for that’s what they all are. There are always opportunities to expand our Christian brotherhood through the medium of modern technology and we would be delighted to hear from any who wish to contact us or use our comments facilities at the end of each post.

It was a very different sort of Sunday yesterday. For one thing it is a Public Holiday in Britain today which gives many the opportunity for the last ‘getaway’ of the summer before the children return to school next week. Consequently our attendance was low but the spirit most certainly was not. Only one meeting to report but what a sanctuary of worship.

Lt. Cols. Gillian & Anthony Cotterill

Led by our Divisional Leaders, Lt. Cols Anthony and Gillian Cotterill, songs chosen were 577, 53, 757, 294, 605 and 174 from the Salvation Army Song Book and 721 from Songs of Fellowship. Due to the number of people away only the Songsters were able to deliver a musical ministry though the Band were able to accompany the songs. Scripture used was John 21.

Lt. Col. Anthony gave the message in which he said:

We all know what it is to fail from time to time. We are all inadequate and mess-up! Even with hours and hours of practice we cannot ‘hit the bullseye’. Anthony outlined a number of definitions of failure and quoted the song used earlier which said ‘for this I have Jesus’. There comes a great liberation when we have permission to fail, but if we don’t try we cannot succeed. We must make an attempt because the greatest failure is not to try in the first place. The whole point is that we must invest what we have been given and only then can we expect a return. Only then can Christ make us more like Him, refining the evil nature within us and making it divine. It is true that we often fail to see what our lives should be. We should ‘love the Lord our God’, said Jesus, and ‘my neighbour as myself’. This is an area where we do not want to fail but often do. Peter, the disciple, is an example of a person who often failed, but in our scripture story Jesus took control and took the resulting catch of fish to make breakfast. Sometimes we act as if we don’t know Jesus, just as Peter had previously done. But Jesus will still ‘re-commission’ us so that we can have a glorious future.

Majors Drew and Beverley McCombe have been in South Wales this weekend for the wedding of their daughter Catherine to Matthew Williams. Hopefully some pictures will arrive soon for readers to enjoy.

Cat McCombe

Majors Drew & Beverley McCombe

Matt Smith has completed his time on the staff of Camp Tecumseh in New Jersey, USA, and is now recovering/reviving in California before returning home! We hope he’ll tell us all about it in due course.

Matt Smith

With schools returning after the summer break it is likely that the corps will be getting back to normal next week and we look forward to an interesting autumn ahead. If you live near enough why not pop in to see us at some time. You would be most welcome. Here’s how to find us.

Click on the maps to enlarge

Readers should note there will be no evening meeting tomorrow. The morning meeting (10am) will be led by Lt.Cols. Anthony and Gillian Cotterill, Divisional Leaders.

Lt. Cols. Anthony & Gillian Cotterill

It has been a nail biting time for some of our youngsters this week as they have been waiting for their examination results.

We offer our congratulations to Axl, Daisie, Gill, Jessica, Lewis and Stephanie who all seem to have achieved good results. Well done!

If we have missed anyone please accept our apologies. Let us know and we’ll include you next time we post.

This year’s Summer School, run by the London South East Division of The Salvation Army was attended by a number of our youngsters including Daisie Tranah and Helen Pearson who have jointly sent us this report

Daisie and Helen

Former Chatham Bandmaster Bill Andrews was 93 years old last Sunday.

Bill was Bandmaster here from 1947 to 1965 and is largely credited with resuscitating the corps band after the war years. Living now in Exeter he is pictured with Brigadier Mary Lewis who carefully tends him. We send our congratulations and best wishes to Bill and would be pleased to hear from any who remember those long gone days.

This is the theme for the Adult and Family Ministries Celebration to be held at Tunbridge Wells in October. Click on the poster for full details.

The event is being organised by The London South East Division of The Salvation Army under the direction of Divisional Family Officer Maureen Ross.

Maureen Ross

Times of rare blessing are all too infrequent in life. However, one such day occurred yesterday with the visit of 29 officers and staff attending the current session (206th) at The Salvation Army’s International College for Officers in South London.

Delegates to the 206th session sightseeing in London

137 years have passed since a Christian Mission station was opened in Chatham by Catherine Booth, wife of William, the founder of what later became The Salvation Army. At that time 15 other mission stations had already been opened although, of these, only 7 remain to this day. Nearly a century and a half later the ‘Army’ is at work in 122 countries all around the world and is recognised, in the UK, as the second largest provider of social care outside of the government.

So it was a great privilege to receive our visitors yesterday (a full list of names and countries is given at the foot of this article) together with Lt. Col. Richard Munn, college Principal. Leadership of the two meetings was in their hands and was full of interest and blessing. Also in the visiting party were Major Julie Forrest (Personnel Secretary) and Major Peter Forrest (Business Secretary). Associate Principal Lt. Col. Janet Munn and Programme Secretary Major Mildred Tourn were not able to be present.

Lt. Col. Richard Munn

The Delegates

The morning meeting was opened by Major Richard Larson, USA, who used songs 56 and 575 from the Salvation Army Song Book. Major Patricia Hangoma, Zambia, prayed in her own language and Major Roseleen Singh, India, brought scripture from Psalm 146. Major Stephen Jarvis, New Zealand, testified to God’s faithfulness. Having yesterday visited his great grandfather’s home in Bath Stephen spoke of the continuing presence of God which finds him where he is today. ‘God is alive and well today and moving within his Army’. Major Comfort Folowasho Adepoju, Nigeria, spoke with great fervour about her upbringing and how ‘I am a child of God and he has always been my sufficiency’. The Songsters brought a strong and vibrant rendering of ‘The Saviour’s Name’ which prompted an immediate invitation to Ohio!

L to R: Patricia, Roseleen, Comfort

Richard & James

Captain James Betts, USA, preached on Hebrews 9:1-10 and asked:

Is God here with us? Why are you here? Why did people go to the Temple? Because the presence of God is here/there. We are in the presence of God. This is a place of celebration and we party here. God also teaches us his ways and so we are instructed here. Other reasons we come are sometimes that we have questions for God, we want to find goodness and love, this is a place to glorify God, gaze upon his beauty, find refuge, comfort in our old age and worship. There are no barriers here and there is nothing in the way of coming to God’s temple. Jesus is the mediator of a new covenant. Major James then read from Ephesians 2:1-10 and continued Jesus now dwells in the body of Christ (the entire world wide Christian church). We may be unique but we are part of that church as the Holy Spirit brings us together. We are God’s temple and that spirit lives in us. But we must also know that God lives in the individual believer. For this to happen we must be changed by the Holy Spirit so that we can be the channel that carries the gospel to the world.

Spirit of the living God,
Fall afresh on me.
Break me, melt me, mould me, fill me;
Spirit of the living God,
Fall afresh on me.

The meeting concluded with song 512 from the Salvation Army Song Book.

The second meeting of the day brought more international flavour for our enjoyment. It set out to bring something of interest from each of the five zones in which The Salvation Army operates. Major Peter Forrest helped kick things off with song 824 from the Salvation Army Song Book and his wife Julie piloted the remainder of the meeting leading with an introduction to the ICO. More information about the college can be found by clicking on the link at the top of this post.

Peter & Julie

From the Americas zone Major Monica Wilson (Caribbean) introduced song 645 from the Salvation Army Song Book, Major Gilberto Trinidad (Mexico) offered prayer in his own language and Major Mark Satterlee (USA) interviewed Major Pedro Sanchez (Chile) with Captain Enrique Azuaje (USA) acting as interpreter. Chatham Band brought musical ministry with ‘Be Thou my Vision’ in this part of the meeting.

Monica

Enrique & Pedro

The Europe zone was introduced by Captain Amanda Lee (UK) with song 742 from Songs of Fellowship, Major Kjell Karlsten (Sweden) testified and sought prayer for this zone, in particular Scandinavia. Major Gunilla Johasson (Sweden & Latvia) had the congregation singing in Swedish the song ‘How Great Thou Art‘.

Amanda, Gunilla & Kjell

The Africa zone was represented by some African music sung by all the officers from that region and again involved audience participation with the swaying and dancing!

African music

Let it all go!

The South Asia zone featured Major John William Polimetla (India) with testimony which incorparated his own ‘Vision for India’ and the Songsters brought ‘One Life to Live’ as their contribution.

The final zone featured was that of South Pacific and East Asia and was the time for scripture and a thought brought by Major Sharon Clanfield (no picture – sorry!) (Australia) who said:

A slogan seen on the side of a lorry carrying apples said ‘We won’t be pipped for quality’. In other words, we’ve got the best. My heavenly father also makes this claim because he gave us the fruits of His spirit. He said ‘My children will bear fruit’. A farmer can only make that claim if it has been a good season but God says that if I abide in Him, whatever the environment, I will bear fruit. Sharon then referred to Jeremiah 17:7-8. Continuing she said in Australia drought has sometimes affected our crops but when I read this I realise that God cares for, nourishes and protects me no matter what my circumstances are.

We can all flourish in our own environment with God’s help. So what is the key? Putting our trust in God. Being planted in a relationship with God. Reaching out to a living God. If you ensure these things then your faith will grow strong and out of this relationship much fruit will grow.

Sharon then asked the congregation to listen to the words of song 458 in the Salvation Army Song Book and consider them.

A fine day was brought to an end by the singing of song 809 from the Salvation Army Song Book followed by a benediction given by Corps Officer Major Drew McCombe.

Major Drew McCombe

We end with a reminder that there will only be one meeting next Sunday (29 August) at 10am. This will be led by Divisional Leaders Lt. Cols. Anthony and Gillian Cotterill as Majors Drew and Beverley McCombe will be in Wales for the wedding of their daughter Catherine. Make a date and join us if you can. Here’s how to find us.

Click on the maps to enlarge

List of Delegates

AUSTRALIA EASTERN-Major Sharon Clanfield
AUSTRALIA SOUTHERN-Captain Michael Wright
CANADA & BERMUDA-Major Stephen Hibbs
CARIBBEAN-Major Monica Wilson
INDIA CENTRAL-Major John William Polimetla
INDIA NORTHERN-Major Roseleen Singh
INDIA SOUTH WESTERN-Major Israel Daniel
KENYA EAST-Captain Alice Barasa
MEXICO-Major Gilberto Martínez Trinidad
NIGERIA-Major Comfort Foluwasho Adepoju
NEW ZEALAND, FIJI & TONGA-Major Stephen Jarvis
SOUTH AMERICA WEST-Major Pedro Sánchez
SOUTHERN AFRICA-Major Sibongile Ivy Mntambo
SWEDEN & LATVIA-Major Kjell Karlsten
SWEDEN & LATVIA-Major Gunilla Johansson
SWITZERLAND, AUSTRIA & HUNGARY-Major Jacques Donzé
UGANDA-Major Abraham Wanyonyi
UNITED KINGDOM-Major Heather Coles
UNITED KINGDOM-Captain Amanda Lee
UNITED KINGDOM-Major Dean Logan
USA CENTRAL-Captain Enrique Azuaje
USA EASTERN-Captain James Betts
USA SOUTHERN-Major Mark Satterlee
USA WESTERN-Major Richard Larson
ZAMBIA-Major Patricia Hangoma
ZIMBABWE-Major Washington Marere

Last Saturday (14 August) eighteen of Chatham’s corps-folk gathered at the Raja of Kent restaurant in Maidstone for an evening of excellent food and even better company. The meal, which was open to all, was the perfect opportunity for old and new friends to relax together outside of the usual weekly church programme. As the group enjoyed the wide selection of Indian dishes* they felt strangely at home; the building had originally housed Maidstone Salvation Army Corps and the dining area was the site of the old Young Peoples hall! As the meal came to a close, everyone agreed that it had been a great success and that they were looking forward to the next one. Details will be available shortly – we are looking to set a date for mid-autumn. Everyone is welcome and attendees are encouraged to bring along friends – especially if they have never been to Chatham Corps before. If you would like further information, please contact us.

*in some cases, up to four platefuls!!!

Divisional Leaders Lt. Cols. Anthony and Gillian Cotterill will be leading our Sunday morning meeting on 29 August at 10am. There will be no evening meeting on that day.

For a great Sunday of international interest why not join us this weekend when our meetings will be led by the delegates at the current session of The Salvation Army’s International College for Officers.

The Cedars, Sydenham Hill

Twenty-six delegates attend each of the four eight-week sessions held each year so you can tell that our day will be full of interest and much blessing as we listen to the stories of some who will inevitably come from very different cultures to our own. Our meetings that day will be at 10am and 4pm (note the changed time for the second meeting) and the maps below give our location. We look forward to seeing you (and getting to know you)

Click on the maps to enlarge

Click on the poster below to enlarge. For further information please contact us